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4 Tips for Nurturing Intimacy & Connection With Your Children

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4 Tips for Nurturing Intimacy & Connection With Your Children

Post  Admin on Sat Jun 18, 2011 3:33 am

4 Tips for Nurturing Intimacy & Connection With Your Children

1. Start by paying attention to the "bids" that go on. What is the tone in your family? Responsive and warm? Distracted and ignoring? Hostile and sarcastic? Does anyone get ignored? Does anyone usually ignore others?

2. Focus on responding positively to your family's bids to you. It takes real self-discipline to tear yourself away from the newspaper to answer a child's question, but how you respond to her overture is crucial in building closeness. More important than what you initiate with her later, when you try to get her to tell you about what happened at school today.

3. If you don't get the response you want to your overtures to your kids, step back and watch how you initiate. Are you inviting a positive response?

4. If you make an overture and are greeted with something hurtful -- disdain, sarcasm, or blankness -- try not to respond with anger. Instead, show your vulnerability and hurt. Say "Ouch!" and turn away (before you give in to the temptation to lash out.) Your son or daughter (or spouse!) will almost certainly feel badly about having hurt you, especially since you haven't aroused their ire by attacking back. Later, when you aren't hurt and angry, you can tell them how it made you feel to get that response. Try to talk only about your feelings, not about them being wrong.


For More Details Click Here: Parenting Tips

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