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Ask The Therapist: My mother says she wants to die because I want to go away for graduate school

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Ask The Therapist: My mother says she wants to die because I want to go away for graduate school

Post  Admin on Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:30 am

My mother says she wants to die because I want to go away for graduate school
By DR. MARIE HARTWELL-WALKER

Q- Since highschool I have known what I want to do with my life and I have worked hard for it. My parents are cuban and pretty traditional, but my dad is not the issue. ALthough I could have gone ot an ivy league school out of highschool, my mother wanted me to stay at home and I obliged and commuted to my local university 0 which is a great school and i received a huge scholarship. I felt as though I was missing out on the college experience and when I was 20 moved on campus. This really hurt my mother and she cried nearly every day, even though I came home every thursday and did not return to school until sunday. I graduated from the honors college at my university, with numerous honors and at the top o my class. I also made it into one of the top 5 graduate schools for what I want to pursue. My mother says she wants to die. She says she never expected for her children to leave home and her dream was always to have me live at home until I got married and even then I would live nearby. She says she is hurt because she stayed home with her parents and never wanted to leave. Apart from sadness she expresses this very angrily, saying I am overambitious and am putting my own selfish pursuits in front of family. I do not understand why she can’t just be happy and proud of me and let me go like the majority of mothers who want the best for their children. I am miserable and every day there is screaming and crying because we want different things. She seems to pride herself on the fact she is “letting” me go to school and says she will suck up the pain, but that she wants to die because there is nothing left and her life did not turn out how she wanted. I have considered going to my local law school, but I will be sacrificing a lot and I know I will be miserable. In addition, she says even if i did so it would not count because I am doing it out of guilt, not because I wanted to stay with my family. I am at a loss and everyday has become a huge emotional struggle. One of us will end up hurt. What do I do?

For Answer -->
http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/06/07/my-mother-says-she-wants-to-die-because-i-want-to-go-away-for-graduate-school/

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